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Email this9:40 pm
April 27, 2017
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With a 7 figure salary… Why are you complaining about $10K in credit card bills?
9:45 pm
April 14, 2021
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Max said
It’s just that I have lived a frugal lifestyle my whole life and now see my wife spending so much money on things that end up in the garbage can after not even 6 months. This hyper consumerism is something I always stayed far away. Buying a used iPhone 6Plus from a colleague and just switched to the iPhone15 Wealthsimple sent me free of charge. Keeping my stuff for over 9-10 years. My wife change every 1-2 years.
Just realize that you and your wife are passing your money-handling attitude and habits onto your sons. Just like morals and ethics, they will learn by what they see and not what they are told.
4:29 am
November 26, 2008
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mordko said
With a 7 figure salary… Why are you complaining about $10K in credit card bills?
Because the odds of my children to make that kind of money in the future is low and I don’t want them to become hyper spenders. Not the values I want the kids to have.
The day you become free is the day you work for fun.
6:11 am
April 6, 2013
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Yes, the children could end up like Tori Spelling.
She is the daughter of Aaron Spelling, a very successful producer of TV shows in the 70's and 80's.
She was not as successful as her father. But, she spent as if she was.
6:26 am
April 27, 2017
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Max said
Because the odds of my children to make that kind of money in the future is low and I don’t want them to become hyper spenders. Not the values I want the kids to have.
Well, that’s between you and your wife. Of course. My 2 cents: she is completely reasonable. Absolutely nothing wrong with spending on hockey equipment, etc for kids if it’s affordable. Nor is there anything wrong with “consumer culture”. It’s human nature and its driving the progress.
8:03 am
September 11, 2013
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By circumstance I've had a front row seat for the domestic lives of several extremely wealthy families and it's not pretty regarding the children. And there's no magic age to cut if off so it goes on for their whole lives, i.e. kids do the reasonable animal adaptation thing when they know there's a pile of dough around and that is turn down the ambition, drive, etc and enjoy life's pleasures with the never ending largesse (that they know they're getting some day anyway). Particularly if at least one of the parents is conspicuously enjoying the family's wealth, from my observations.
Not sure there's anything to be done about it, they know pretty early on they're born into "privilege" and most (not all, not inevitable) will just ride it. And isn't that the dream of every lottery player, quit work and start the party life?
11:33 am
November 26, 2008
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Bill said
By circumstance I've had a front row seat for the domestic lives of several extremely wealthy families and it's not pretty regarding the children. And there's no magic age to cut if off so it goes on for their whole lives, i.e. kids do the reasonable animal adaptation thing when they know there's a pile of dough around and that is turn down the ambition, drive, etc and enjoy life's pleasures with the never ending largesse (that they know they're getting some day anyway). Particularly if at least one of the parents is conspicuously enjoying the family's wealth, from my observations.Not sure there's anything to be done about it, they know pretty early on they're born into "privilege" and most (not all, not inevitable) will just ride it. And isn't that the dream of every lottery player, quit work and start the party life?
There is an interesting book on the matter I read last year on a psychologist trying to solve the problems of the kids from wealthy kids in the Hamptons born from billionaires. The conclusion was exactly your post. That’s what I want to avoid for my kids, killing their inner drive to become useful and successful human beings.
That’s what I like from sports, they have to learn early they have to make the effort and suffer like the rest to have the same success and perform.
It doesn’t matter what is the income of your parents.
The day you become free is the day you work for fun.
1:00 pm
September 11, 2013
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Max, your intentions are proper for a parent, but just from what I've seen there are always some people who at some point fully realize their parents will not turn their backs on them no matter what so if their parents are wealthy it's not actually true that they need "to make the effort and suffer like the rest", to have "success and perform". And what do parents do if some of their kids live up to expectations but others decide to party instead? Treat them all the same financially? Or differently? It's a real dilemma.
Sports works when they're young but at some point they decide for themselves whether they want to keep working hard at that or not. I think of one child I saw who was a competitive figure skater, likely national team material, who decided at about age 15 she was done and she's been a troubled party girl for the last two decades, financially supported enough to do so by parents.
So my observation is parents' wealth very much matters, if it's high enough, that is. Good luck to you!
2:22 pm
January 25, 2023
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Max said
She says it’s for the kids but I see half of the stuff thrown away in the garbage can after couple months. What an environs disaster.
Do you mean "garbage" or "garage"? If it's sports equipment, etc., have you thought about selling it second hand online? Even if you prefer the peace of mind of buying new, you can still recoup money and space by selling it while being environmentally friendly and supporting the less financially well-off. If you are too busy, you can teach your older kid to do it and give them a "commission". Win-win and teaches them a lesson IMO.
4:58 pm
April 14, 2021
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Max said
Because the odds of my children to make that kind of money in the future is low and I don’t want them to become hyper spenders. Not the values I want the kids to have.
That's exactly why good attitudes towards money are worthwhile passing on to the next generation. While any good, loving parent hopes that his children exceed him, there is no such guarantee. Teaching them to live well with however much or little they have is just good parenting.
8:59 pm
November 26, 2008
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Bill said
Max, your intentions are proper for a parent, but just from what I've seen there are always some people who at some point fully realize their parents will not turn their backs on them no matter what so if their parents are wealthy it's not actually true that they need "to make the effort and suffer like the rest", to have "success and perform". And what do parents do if some of their kids live up to expectations but others decide to party instead? Treat them all the same financially? Or differently? It's a real dilemma.Sports works when they're young but at some point they decide for themselves whether they want to keep working hard at that or not. I think of one child I saw who was a competitive figure skater, likely national team material, who decided at about age 15 she was done and she's been a troubled party girl for the last two decades, financially supported enough to do so by parents.
So my observation is parents' wealth very much matters, if it's high enough, that is. Good luck to you!
Unfortunately, once they reach 18, the only financial support they will receive is scholarship and sports. They pay for the rest and have to work for it. Working outside is how you learn to deal, negotiate, do business in the real world.
The day you become free is the day you work for fun.
6:02 am
April 6, 2013
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The only way the children would learn would be for the parents to actually say no.
That's what Warren Buffet did when his daughter asked for $41,000 for kitchen renovations. He declined.
6:27 am
September 11, 2013
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Max, great intentions (wife needs to be on board too), we had the same approx-18-and-out rule but they're all different and not all will follow parents' program at some point so you have to be ready for that (I'd be surprised if every one of your 5 kids ended up meeting your minimum standard level of drive, ambition, etc, though it could happen). Additionally it's impossible to cut them off from your own affluent lifestyle, for example do you tell the 24 year-old they're now not coming on the cruises, skiing holidays in Aspen, etc, etc, etc, i.e. all those things well-to-do families indulge in? Of course not, so then they're continuing to enjoy a lifestyle that they on their own couldn't have, thus continuing to reinforce a lack of drive, ambition, etc that might be innate to them. I have seen it, repeatedly and often!
One of our family members in particular took his time finding his way in life, living in some pretty desperate financial circumstances, sketchy roommates in dumpy apartments, etc, watching that without parents "rescuing" him was not easy. Luckily his upbringing carried him through at the end and now he's fine, though still lives in a manner that none of the rest of the family would want. But it's all good, all you can do is model behaviour but ultimately you want young ones to freely choose the course of their own lives, however different from parents that might be. IMO.
6:28 am
September 11, 2013
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Exactly, Norman1. And the wealthy folks I've seen, or at least one of the parents, can't or don't even want to say no. And the kids know it. And Buffet's daughter knows she's getting a whack of dough at some point, she can wait.
9:23 pm
November 26, 2008
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Bill said
Max, great intentions (wife needs to be on board too), we had the same approx-18-and-out rule but they're all different and not all will follow parents' program at some point so you have to be ready for that (I'd be surprised if every one of your 5 kids ended up meeting your minimum standard level of drive, ambition, etc, though it could happen). Additionally it's impossible to cut them off from your own affluent lifestyle, for example do you tell the 24 year-old they're now not coming on the cruises, skiing holidays in Aspen, etc, etc, etc, i.e. all those things well-to-do families indulge in? Of course not, so then they're continuing to enjoy a lifestyle that they on their own couldn't have, thus continuing to reinforce a lack of drive, ambition, etc that might be innate to them. I have seen it, repeatedly and often!One of our family members in particular took his time finding his way in life, living in some pretty desperate financial circumstances, sketchy roommates in dumpy apartments, etc, watching that without parents "rescuing" him was not easy. Luckily his upbringing carried him through at the end and now he's fine, though still lives in a manner that none of the rest of the family would want. But it's all good, all you can do is model behaviour but ultimately you want young ones to freely choose the course of their own lives, however different from parents that might be. IMO.
Great info
Thanks for sharing
The day you become free is the day you work for fun.
5:41 am
April 27, 2017
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Bill said
Exactly, Norman1. And the wealthy folks I've seen, or at least one of the parents, can't or don't even want to say no. And the kids know it. And Buffet's daughter knows she's getting a whack of dough at some point, she can wait.
Buffett’s three children will be getting inheritance in the form of contributions to their philanthropic foundations.
10:47 am
September 11, 2013
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It would be going from Buffet's estate directly to the foundations, I wouldn't consider that an inheritance.
But some folks do quite well being connected to or on the payroll of the relatively non-regulated, non tax department scrutinized foundation, charity, non-profit sector, I'm sure she won't be hurting financially.
8:33 pm
January 10, 2017
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mordko said
Buffett’s three children will be getting inheritance in the form of contributions to their philanthropic foundations.
Private foundations are the biggest loophole (some say scam) in the world even here in Canada. They are setup to avoid paying taxes. It allows the nominated foundation "principles" to benefit off the funds in the foundation while being obligated to spend next to nothing on charity each year. This results in the funds growing tax free while robbing society of income taxes while everyone else pays them. Actually everyone with money even a few hundred thousand should have one. If we all did, it would be the end of foundations.
Take a look at this link!
9:47 pm
March 30, 2022
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The Trudeau foundation comes to mind.
7:48 am
February 11, 2024
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If you eat out a lot (restaurants, fast food, coffee shops etc.) consider the Simplii credit card. It has no fee and pays 4% cash back at all those places. I use it only for eating out, which I do a lot. It pays only 0.5% for everything else so I have other cards for gas, groceries, $US spending etc.
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